Pussy Insurance

With Valentines Day being just days removed, I would like to talk about a very serious topic for those of us not in relationships on this day:  Pussy Insurance.  I was “introduced” to this hot girl through an online dating site about two weeks ago and we hit it off.  Similar family backgrounds, taste in music and food, the whole nine.  I was thinking that man, this girl could be the one.  The woman of my dreams, the yin to my yang, the apple of my eye.  She was going to be away all week, so Saturday (Valentines Day) was open for both of us.

I went all out for this girl.  Showered, pressed the suit, made reservations at Spagos, bouquet of roses and a box of Godiva.  I even put a condom in the wallet for the impending sex that we were going to have that night.  Being a realist, I knew that there was a HIGH probability that I was going to hook up with this girl, but what if I didn’t?  I needed to make sure that I was going to get some that night and would even pay in advance to get it.  Thus, the last thing I did was get some Pussy Insurance.  I called up one of my fave escorts and let her know that I would be prepaying for an hour of her time on Valentines regardless of whether I show up or not.

I met the girl from the Interwebs for dinner that night and she looked hot.  Tight little red number with some matching heels.  I gave her the flowers and candy and she seemed happy as well as my choice of restaurant.  Conversation was great and the wine was flowing.  I think a good time was being had by all.  After dinner, we grabbed some ice cream and found a bench to continue chatting and then a short make-out session.
I am thinking this is gonna work out well for me.  First date and I am already tonguing this girl.  Well, as it turns out, it didn’t work out that well.  She gets a call.  Its Mom, she needs something and it can’t wait until after we have sex.  She apologizes profusely and gives me one last kiss before saying she wants to do this again.

Well that totally sucked balls.  No hookup on V-day with my potential ex-wife.  Luckily, I have pussy insurance for this night….and my premium has been pre-paid.  I called up my fave escort and let her know that I would be on my way.  I won’t get into too many details, but that condom did get used that night, along with a couple others that she had to provide. So, let that be a lesson for you fellas, if you don’t have a sure thing on Valentines Day, make sure you pick up some insurance.

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